Separation Anxiety

It's the strangest thing. I had to leave Mike behind at the office today. It was a combination of things: I was starting to get a bit sick; there was a meeting at the office that ran until after dark, and my headlight broke down not long ago, so I've been trying to avoid the bike path when it gets dark; and I needed to stop for some errands on the way home, but I left my bike lock in a friend's car last weekend, so I couldn't exactly stop at the mall and leave Mike unattended in the parking lot. (I know, I know, it's paranoia. But how stupid would I feel if I left him in the parking lot of Billings Bridge Mall to run in for a new alarm clock and some coconut milk, and came out to find him gone?)

I did, actually, leave him in the lot yesterday, to run in and do some banking and grab a bottle of wine. And I spent the whole time I was inside the mall half distracted by knowing he was out there, unsecured. It was such a relief to see the reflective patches on his panniers glowing away at me when I got out.

So, I had to stop today for a new lock and some groceries and an alarm clock. And, all told, I thought it made more sense for me to leave Mike at the office - I bring him inside and park him in the storage area - and catch a bus home.

And I feel just ever so slightly silly that when I went into the storage area to take the pannier off his rack so I could take it home with me, I ... felt bad. Leaving him there. All ... parked and waiting for me to carry him outside and put him on the road. With my helmet slung on one of his handlebars. I kept wanting to apologize for leaving him behind.

I blame the fever. I was in a strange emotional spot. That must be it.