Black Mercedes-Benz, plate #AZNZ 999

(written, as a Facebook note, by Katie Malkovsky and reposted here for the edification of the populace. This incident happened in Toronto.)

If you should happen to pass said car, and you're carrying your keys in your hands, and a single key inadvertantly slips out from between your fingers, and as you walk by - oops! - you realize you've scratched said car with your key, rest assured: the owner is an asshole.

This driver felt that a cyclist had cut him off, so he honked. So far so good. Then, he sped up and drove the cyclist all the way over to the side of the road, and continued behind, a few inches away from the cyclist, forcing the poor guy on the bike to go speeding down the street in order to not be run over by the car directly behind him. When the person you're tailing is in a car, that shit is intimidating. When the person you're chasing is on a bike, that shit is murderous.

So the car goes back to the middle of the road and stops, and the driver gets out. He starts yelling at the cyclist. A car in the next lane stops to yell at the first driver. Now both lanes are blocked, cars are honking, and this psycho driver is still yelling and cursing at the cyclist. I walk by, pull out my phone, and say, "so, I'll just call the police then, unless you're just about done?" At this point the cyclist speeds off. Fuck. I meant to scare the driver, not the cyclist.

Driver 1 and Driver 2 continue to yell at each other. Driver 2 speeds away, Driver 1 pulls over and just sits there. I dunno why.

Sorry for the crappy photo quality. Cell phone cam. I was also trying to be discreet, so as no to anger the psycho.

More *sigh* than *grr*

A brief vignette from my day:

Remember how I said that the bridge on Saint Patrick at River Road was deceptive because the bike lane forces you to go straight through, whereas if you want to turn right onto the bike path you ought to be in the right-hand-turn lane, not the bike lane?

Well, that's where I was about 3:00 this afternoon when a guy in a large white pickup blared his horn at me from behind (causing me to slam on the brakes thinking something was wrong) and gestured confusingly with a large arm out the window as he blasted past. I think the gesture was meant to convey something like "get the hell on the sidewalk, you stupid bitch!" Or maybe "The bike lane is right there!' or something.

I slammed on the brakes, as I said, because that's the sort of thing I do when horns are honked around me. Drivers note: the only thing you will achieve by leaning on the horn is to scare and startle the cyclist, thus possibly causing them to do something even more unpredictable than whatever it is they were doing that made you want to honk the horn. It's not smart. Or helpful.

An older woman, on her bike on the sidewalk, called out to me as she passed, "That's why I'm on the sidewalk."

I could have taken that as a reproof, but I didn't. I shook my head, and said, "Because of the jerks in cars?" and added that I was exactly where I legally ought to be. We both had a moment of shrugging resignation, and I kept along in the right hand turn lane, so I could turn right, onto the path. Where no one bothered me but the congregating, pre-migratory geese.

Chasing Cars (by Katie Malkovsky)

(Kate says: I was told I could use this for my zine. I had to share - this is not only a really crazy story, but it's really well written. Everyone should get treated at some point to one of Katie's open letters on Facebook. They're always a good read. And this one, well, it's an object lesson.)


Toronto drivers, we need to talk.

You are all insane. But I suppose that's a generalization. Rather, a few of you are insane, which gives the rest of you a bad name. But those few who are insane are completely off their rocker.

If you decide to make a U-Turn directly in front of a "no U-Turn" sign, and almost hit me on my bike, I think it a little strange to blame me for being in the way. I think it's even more strange to yell out the window about what a stupid bitch I am for not having a light on my bike. I thought I was set with my flashing red LED, my reflectors, and my helmet with reflective stripes, yet apparently all of these things only work to make me invisible. I'm sorry. I hadn't realized.

Ah, but you didn't leave it there, Toronto Driver. I'm not sure exactly what you hoped to accomplish by following me and intentionally cutting me off and trying to run me off the road, all the while screaming about my missing light. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you weren't trying to look like a complete psycho, so I suppose I should commend you for making psychosis look effortless. Three cheers for you, T.D.

Though you proved yourself to be unquestionably crazy when you pulled up ahead and over to the side of the road, waited for me to pass you, and then opened your door, hoping to hit me with it.

I have to admit, I was relieved when you finally stopped following me and just drove away, but not before you leaned out the window and screamed that I'm a "stupid fucking cunt." I think you should know that I found this insulting, though not for the reasons you may think.

I don't mind being called a cunt. I do mind that you immediately reached for a gendered insult. I couldn't just be the annoying cyclist, could I? No, I had to be the annoying *female* cyclist; the "stupid-fucking-cunt." You seem to have a deep hatred of women, Toronto Driver.

And at the end of the day, T.D., you have to know you really blew it. I'm a pretty damn responsible cyclist; one of the few who doesn't run red lights or stop signs, and I actually signal when I turn. I cause no inconvenience to you as you drive, and I like to think that my pollution-free cycling makes you breathe a little easier in this smog-filled city. As for what you can do for me, Toronto Driver? I know I'll breathe easier once you've had your license suspended, though I know this will probably happen after you hit or kill someone with your car. You're on a dangerous path, T.D.

And, just for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UZ0K5yGW3E&feature=related

- Katie Malkovsky (check her out on MySpace, here)